We're at thirty-five weeks of pregnancy here. I am at the "wow am I going to actually get any bigger?" stage, soon to move into the "dear lord please let it be today" stage. Which will be followed by "I can't stand it where's the acupuncturist - heck where's the voodoo lady -- anything is better than one more day of pregnancy."
God's designs are always so effective, I think. The worse the end of pregnancy, the happier you will be when you're in the middle of steamroller-sized contractions.
And for those who require the gory details, our little Gilbert/a is head-down and apparently the exact right size for how old he/she is.
Anyone have name suggestions for us?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
A new member of the Guilt No More Community (TM)
Gabby and Joe with Madeline Mary, all of them looking impossibly young and sweet. Especially Madeline...
A beautiful grandmother with a tiny baby who will, no doubt, contribute much to this blog.
New mama, new baby.
You already saw this one, but I couldn't resist posting it.
OK, I'm a tech toddler, so I didn't know how to turn this around. But tilt your head to the left and feast your eyes -- the quintessential daddy pic.Thursday, August 21, 2008
the size of an infant's stomach...
Although I fully realize that I am preaching to the choir, here are a few notes of amazement from a newly minted father:
My child crash landed into the great commonwealth of Massachusetts a mere 7lbs. 2.9 oz. When one factors in the amount of fluid in her lungs, meconium and various other artifacts of the "in womb" state she was really around 6 lbs. 15 oz. pure certified Madeline M. Doran weight. Which brings me to my point.
According to the laws of physics, mass is conserved. Therefore how is it possible for a 6 lbs 15 oz beautiful and little human being to a) continuously eat 17 hours a day and b) on her first day in the house, before she had even had a full meal from mama, destroy her onesie, nightgown, recieving blanket and blast certain portions of daddy's arm with a gigantic BM. If mass is conserved, how is such a terrific mass a) stored and b) expended? Simply umbelievable.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
What are parents doing?
So, Superguy has a thing for the FoxNews website. I would link to it, but I don't know how. Anyway, as it was just sitting on the computer screen, I read an article about "special needs" twin sisters who have gone missing. The headline was horrifying -- twin girls, both gone? I pictured three year olds in pink frilly dresses and an estranged relative who had decided to simply take them off so he/she could be in charge of the little sweeties...
But no. These girls are 16, and the picture shows them to be beautiful and ordinarily dressed teens; their father describes them as "mentally slow" and that they both still play with dolls but want to "meet boys."
It turns out they have been using their computer(s?) a lot lately. The father was unaware that they had seven MySpace sites -- he thought they were using the computer for homework.
Then it also turns out that they have "run away" before, but had always been back within a day. But on the day they went missing, they went out near the road, clearly hanging around, waiting for someone. Sure enough, someone drove up, the girls got into the car, and that was the last anyone has seen of them.
There are SO MANY THINGS wrong with this situation, even aside from the fact that vulnerable young women have disappeared. Here are my questions:
1. These girls are mentally slow, so much so that they were in the special program at their high school, yet their relatives were not at all alert to their frightening habit of "running away"? When they went out toward the road and stood there, looking for somebody apparently, why didn't someone go out and ask them what in the world they were doing? Why didn't someone make them wait in the house, and tell them their "ride" could just jolly well come on in and meet the parents?
2. Since when could young women with mental challenges be expected to be safe on the Internet? Having an Internet connection is like having a miniature Mall of America right in your own home, except without the security guards. Anyone could be there, anyone could persuade a vulnerable youth to reveal information she shouldn't.
3. What are parents today thinking? How trustworthy is our culture? Every other magazine, billboard, and pop song reveals our cultural attitude toward young girls. They are to be sexually desired, displayed, egged on toward immodesty and lack of restraint, given "freedom." In other words, young women are basically beautiful animals, to be cultivated for the purposes of the use and pleasure of others. They are to be taught that this is normal and that they will enjoy it a lot -- after all, look at all the young beautiful female rock stars and movie actresses and how much they end up enjoying what they become (B. Spears, the Olsen twins, etc etc etc). Parents who attempt to take their teenage girls out of this altogether deserve, according to popular thinking, the scorn and contempt of almost everybody but definitely of the girls, who are to have the "freedom" to go out and suck up the poison and lick their lips while they do.
So many times when I get into conversations about this topic, I invariably hear from people that "you can't make a girl live in a bubble" and that "you can't protect them from everything." That's true. And certainly even mentally challenged girls have free will and consciences, to the degree that they have understanding. But let's just put it this way -- my children aren't going to face the culture without their parents right by their side. We are not going to just put them on the rowboat and wave goodbye while the sharks swarm around, just because that's what somebody who has written a book says is best. When, God willing, my girls (and boys) are teens, they are going to have to work a hell of a lot harder than these missing young women did to get that "free."
And quite frankly, I don't care if it makes them despise me for a while. My children aren't animals. They aren't objects. They are enfleshed souls -- shining, awe-inspiring, immortal, and deserving only the purest and highest that we can offer them. I won't allow someone to hand them a snake when they're asking for bread. And if, as children, they reach for the snake, I am going to grab their hands and hold them, really tightly if necessary.
But no. These girls are 16, and the picture shows them to be beautiful and ordinarily dressed teens; their father describes them as "mentally slow" and that they both still play with dolls but want to "meet boys."
It turns out they have been using their computer(s?) a lot lately. The father was unaware that they had seven MySpace sites -- he thought they were using the computer for homework.
Then it also turns out that they have "run away" before, but had always been back within a day. But on the day they went missing, they went out near the road, clearly hanging around, waiting for someone. Sure enough, someone drove up, the girls got into the car, and that was the last anyone has seen of them.
There are SO MANY THINGS wrong with this situation, even aside from the fact that vulnerable young women have disappeared. Here are my questions:
1. These girls are mentally slow, so much so that they were in the special program at their high school, yet their relatives were not at all alert to their frightening habit of "running away"? When they went out toward the road and stood there, looking for somebody apparently, why didn't someone go out and ask them what in the world they were doing? Why didn't someone make them wait in the house, and tell them their "ride" could just jolly well come on in and meet the parents?
2. Since when could young women with mental challenges be expected to be safe on the Internet? Having an Internet connection is like having a miniature Mall of America right in your own home, except without the security guards. Anyone could be there, anyone could persuade a vulnerable youth to reveal information she shouldn't.
3. What are parents today thinking? How trustworthy is our culture? Every other magazine, billboard, and pop song reveals our cultural attitude toward young girls. They are to be sexually desired, displayed, egged on toward immodesty and lack of restraint, given "freedom." In other words, young women are basically beautiful animals, to be cultivated for the purposes of the use and pleasure of others. They are to be taught that this is normal and that they will enjoy it a lot -- after all, look at all the young beautiful female rock stars and movie actresses and how much they end up enjoying what they become (B. Spears, the Olsen twins, etc etc etc). Parents who attempt to take their teenage girls out of this altogether deserve, according to popular thinking, the scorn and contempt of almost everybody but definitely of the girls, who are to have the "freedom" to go out and suck up the poison and lick their lips while they do.
So many times when I get into conversations about this topic, I invariably hear from people that "you can't make a girl live in a bubble" and that "you can't protect them from everything." That's true. And certainly even mentally challenged girls have free will and consciences, to the degree that they have understanding. But let's just put it this way -- my children aren't going to face the culture without their parents right by their side. We are not going to just put them on the rowboat and wave goodbye while the sharks swarm around, just because that's what somebody who has written a book says is best. When, God willing, my girls (and boys) are teens, they are going to have to work a hell of a lot harder than these missing young women did to get that "free."
And quite frankly, I don't care if it makes them despise me for a while. My children aren't animals. They aren't objects. They are enfleshed souls -- shining, awe-inspiring, immortal, and deserving only the purest and highest that we can offer them. I won't allow someone to hand them a snake when they're asking for bread. And if, as children, they reach for the snake, I am going to grab their hands and hold them, really tightly if necessary.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Summer
For those of you in the Diaspora, I offer these photos to keep you updated on life here in the Land of Origin.I would post a Guilt No More photo of my kitchen in its current state, but no one needs that sort of discouragement.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Guilt no more childbirth
In honor of youngest sister Gabs, who is due to have her first baby ("Shim" thus far) any day now, I post the following items for having a guilt-no-more childbirth experience.
1. There is no reason to make life more difficult than it has to be. THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE for as many of your waking hours as possible. Here are some possible topics: the pathetic nature of the Olympics today; US foreign policy in regard to North Korea; the cider vinegar-as-health-supplement debate; interesting wallpaper ideas for the bedroom; the unusual linguistic patterns of that one region of Africa where they click; whether and to what extent classical music is a thing of the past.
2. You will know they are real contractions, just as you know for sure when you sneeze. There's really no mistaking the sensation, after a certain point.
3. Eat, Mama, eat. Get those energy drinks and have them cold, so that during early labor you can keep up your strength even if your stomach is saying, "No way! No way! Major bodily disruption occurring! No time to digest!"
4. Do not pack your hospital bag until your due date. If you go into labor early, there is nothing that you would really lack, not living five hours from the hospital and having a husband who will be more than happy to run home to get you your special bathrobe. However, if you should not have been delivered of your child BY that date, it will be TORTURE to sit there looking at it as it lurks smugly in the corner, taunting your increasingly impossible physical condition.
5. What to pack: a toothbrush and toothpaste. Very very very important. Also, one really cute unisex outfit for the baby. Also, your favorite cute maternity outfit that you can wear home -- choose something almost dressy. You want to feel human as you go out in public. And finally, many and various fun, light, pretty magazines. Nix to Catholic World Report, First Things, the Economist, or anything relating to politics or world events. Think Country Living, Faith and Family, Real Simple, etc. Oh, and the car seat.
6. What not to pack: four shirts, two skirts, six pairs of socks, games, videos, writing paper, receiving blankets or diapers (the hospital has these), a laptop, curling iron, stuffed animals, etc. The books might say that these are helpful. In reality, by the time you need to be in the hospital, none of this stuff is going to be helpful.
7. Your poor husband. Give him permission to eat junk food throughout the entire hospital stay, since that is what will probably be most comforting and easy for him. Do not require him to eat fruit. Don't yell at him -- he's more scared of this than you are. Also, give him things to do -- fetching ice water, calling relatives, making the hospital staff be PERFECTLY SILENT during your hardest contractions.
8. Childbirth is not meant to be done all at once. If you start to feel overwhelmed, remember that you only have to get through each moment on an individual basis. Do NOT start asking yourself, "If it's this hard now, how hard will it be when yada yada yada..." God will give you the grace to meet each contraction and each push with the strength it requires. And if there are unforeseen complications, realize that He will guide you through them as well.
9. The ordinary healthy woman, in a low risk healthy childbirth situation, can give birth completely without fear. If something weird or unusual should arise, that is why you are in the hospital with trained staff. Trust that your body can do this.
10. You know that saying, "the light at the end of the tunnel"? Well, at the end of this particular tunnel, there is A BABY! And he or she will be a creation unlike any other! So if the unforeseen does occur, you can remember it was just that particular tunnel, and the important part of the journey is the BABY!
11. Nurses are human beings too; let them help you, but don't let their faults depress you. Here are some things nurses are experts on: labor aids, postpartum care, dosing medicine, checking vitals, caring for your comfort and safety, monitoring your progress. Here are some things that nurses are not NECESSARILY experts on: breastfeeding frequency, childrearing, sleep styles, infant calming techniques, US foreign policy in relation to North Korea.
12. Childbirth is exhausting, and not only for you. You may be surprised to see your husband as haggard and incoherent as he may be; although you are the one who went through the delivery from the front lines so to speak, he was your key support staffer, and a large part of his suffering was that he could not do nearly enough to shoulder yours for you. Also, he has just met his first child. He is a father now. That very fact can make a man want to sleep for twenty-four hours straight, just as soon as he has had a good two-three beers.
1. There is no reason to make life more difficult than it has to be. THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE for as many of your waking hours as possible. Here are some possible topics: the pathetic nature of the Olympics today; US foreign policy in regard to North Korea; the cider vinegar-as-health-supplement debate; interesting wallpaper ideas for the bedroom; the unusual linguistic patterns of that one region of Africa where they click; whether and to what extent classical music is a thing of the past.
2. You will know they are real contractions, just as you know for sure when you sneeze. There's really no mistaking the sensation, after a certain point.
3. Eat, Mama, eat. Get those energy drinks and have them cold, so that during early labor you can keep up your strength even if your stomach is saying, "No way! No way! Major bodily disruption occurring! No time to digest!"
4. Do not pack your hospital bag until your due date. If you go into labor early, there is nothing that you would really lack, not living five hours from the hospital and having a husband who will be more than happy to run home to get you your special bathrobe. However, if you should not have been delivered of your child BY that date, it will be TORTURE to sit there looking at it as it lurks smugly in the corner, taunting your increasingly impossible physical condition.
5. What to pack: a toothbrush and toothpaste. Very very very important. Also, one really cute unisex outfit for the baby. Also, your favorite cute maternity outfit that you can wear home -- choose something almost dressy. You want to feel human as you go out in public. And finally, many and various fun, light, pretty magazines. Nix to Catholic World Report, First Things, the Economist, or anything relating to politics or world events. Think Country Living, Faith and Family, Real Simple, etc. Oh, and the car seat.
6. What not to pack: four shirts, two skirts, six pairs of socks, games, videos, writing paper, receiving blankets or diapers (the hospital has these), a laptop, curling iron, stuffed animals, etc. The books might say that these are helpful. In reality, by the time you need to be in the hospital, none of this stuff is going to be helpful.
7. Your poor husband. Give him permission to eat junk food throughout the entire hospital stay, since that is what will probably be most comforting and easy for him. Do not require him to eat fruit. Don't yell at him -- he's more scared of this than you are. Also, give him things to do -- fetching ice water, calling relatives, making the hospital staff be PERFECTLY SILENT during your hardest contractions.
8. Childbirth is not meant to be done all at once. If you start to feel overwhelmed, remember that you only have to get through each moment on an individual basis. Do NOT start asking yourself, "If it's this hard now, how hard will it be when yada yada yada..." God will give you the grace to meet each contraction and each push with the strength it requires. And if there are unforeseen complications, realize that He will guide you through them as well.
9. The ordinary healthy woman, in a low risk healthy childbirth situation, can give birth completely without fear. If something weird or unusual should arise, that is why you are in the hospital with trained staff. Trust that your body can do this.
10. You know that saying, "the light at the end of the tunnel"? Well, at the end of this particular tunnel, there is A BABY! And he or she will be a creation unlike any other! So if the unforeseen does occur, you can remember it was just that particular tunnel, and the important part of the journey is the BABY!
11. Nurses are human beings too; let them help you, but don't let their faults depress you. Here are some things nurses are experts on: labor aids, postpartum care, dosing medicine, checking vitals, caring for your comfort and safety, monitoring your progress. Here are some things that nurses are not NECESSARILY experts on: breastfeeding frequency, childrearing, sleep styles, infant calming techniques, US foreign policy in relation to North Korea.
12. Childbirth is exhausting, and not only for you. You may be surprised to see your husband as haggard and incoherent as he may be; although you are the one who went through the delivery from the front lines so to speak, he was your key support staffer, and a large part of his suffering was that he could not do nearly enough to shoulder yours for you. Also, he has just met his first child. He is a father now. That very fact can make a man want to sleep for twenty-four hours straight, just as soon as he has had a good two-three beers.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Living the cliche
Yes indeed. Barefoot, in the kitchen, pregnant.
God is so good to me!
Now if only I could live the one that goes "Early to bed, early to rise ..."
(And yes, I was in fact frying chicken and boiling corn. Can I be real?)
Friday, August 1, 2008
This is not my life!
As you will see from the pictures, I am an organized person. I have a laundry room with a folding counter (being used for folding), shelves that contain various laundry/storage things, clean and working machines, bright light, and bare clean tile on the floor. Furthermore, I have three huge sorting bins, which handle all the ordinary laundry of one day in our household of seven (soon to be eight). If I do one-two loads a day, and have the children carry their folded piles up and put them away once every day (usually after lunch or dinner), my machines never runneth over and my heart sings with joy.
However, be it noted that this is all totally new for me -- and this after eleven plus years of motherhood, almost thirteen of marriage. This same laundry room, just a few weeks ago, more closely resembled one of those garbage houses that they find after some batty old lady dies. I don't even want to post a picture. Just think the exact opposite of the photos here, and you get the idea.
The credit for my changed life laundrywise goes completely to my fearless and loving sister AR who does not, apparently, have enough to do with the four children (toddler twins amongst them) and who has at least fourteen extra calories that have somehow not yet been burned.
Thanks, sis! I can hold my head up once again!
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